“It’s okay to begin your story today. Those mistakes you have made along the way are lessons, not failures. You were meant to get back up and find a way that resonates with you. There is no expiration date to reinventing yourself”
Often times we get stuck at the failure part of life. Whether it be a bad business deal, failed relationship, hiccup in our career, broken friendship, etc. sometimes it is hard to pull ourselves out of that place. There are moments when we are days, weeks, even years past those moments but yet haven’t truly recovered from that let down. It is so easy to beat yourself up when something goes wrong, especially with those big losses. What if in those moments, we honored our feelings and allowed ourselves to experience the pain or disappointment that comes with the loss and then truly left it there? What if we processed the loss as just that, nothing more than a loss, and then left it there and truly moved past it? Can you imagine how free we would be? Obviously that sounds so simple and so obvious, yet we don’t do it. We either ignore the event completely with the mentality of “oh i’m just being positive and not dwelling on the negative” or we completely let it consume us. Now on the rare occasion that you are perfect and fall in the small percentage of people that just effortlessly and perfectly process and deal with life without any fault or wavering, congratulations you should be proud of yourself. The rest of us however, our humanness tends to show a lot in this department. What if every single time we fail, instead of calling it that, we viewed it as a reinventing season. Instead of “oh I failed at my marriage because we are getting divorced”, what if it was “I am reinventing what my role in my relationships looks like, and therefore starting over”. That idea of failing can mentally weigh so heavy on us psychologically that our minds, without intent, can start to keep score in a sense. You start to subconsciously keep a running tally of every time you didn’t succeed. However, the idea of not succeeding is only based on perspective. A relationship ends, but you can walk away having learned more about how you need to be loved and how to love others. You can not passed a class in school, but retaking it the second time can afford you the opportunity to have a new teacher or classmates or support to effectively pass and actually learn. I could make a business mistake that costs me money and a client, but it gave me the opportunity to reevaluate my policy and realize that I need to rework some details on my end that will prevent this mishap from reoccurring.
Whatever it is that knocks us down, WE CAN BOUNCE BACK. It all comes down to how bad you want it. Do you want to grow from it, or burn with it? These are the questions we have to ask ourselves. We also have to give ourselves permission to experience the spectrum that is sometimes attached to a mishap or downfall. If you lose a client in business, its gonna sting for a second and you can even vent about it not feeling good. The key is in how you get up from that place. The sting is just a moment in time. Are you going to freeze yourself there so you can continue to feel it, or are you going to push play and get through it and more importantly past it?
It’s like if your house caught on fire. Are you going to see the flames in your house and stand inside with them while talking about the fire? No you’re going to get out, get safe, call for help, and then process what your next steps are. (insurance, recovery, rebuilding, etc.) Life is no different. We are going to find ourselves in situations that are going to burn us. Make sure you’re not standing in the fire telling everyone that your home is burning. Do what you can to escape the crazy, call for backup if you need it, then process how to move forward. When everything is said and done, you don’t move back into your now charcoaled and burnt home, you rebuild. Your life is no different. When the fire burns, take it for what it is. Assess if you need assistance, process your next moves and start reinventing. Whether that means being single to recover and self reflecting after a bad relationship, coming up with a new business structure, taking some time away from certain friends or family, starting a new job, transferring schools. Whatever you need to do to be in the best place you can, DO IT. But don’t just do it for the hell of it, do it unapologetically and intentionally.