I wrote this letter to myself back in June of 2018. I was going through to hardest time in life and I genuinely did not know what I was going to do with myself. I felt unsure, scared, and incapable. Man have I proved myself wrong! It resonated then, and resonates now. I hope it inspires you the way it did for me.
This season has been...tough. It's been a long year. You have learned so much about yourself in the past 12 months. You've cried, a lot. You've laughed a little. You've hurt a lot, but you've made it. I know, more often than not, it doesn't feel like you are winning in this. It often feels like you're emotions are going to drown you, but everyday you get up. Further than get up, you get things done. For the most part no one around you even knows when you're having an off day. You are doing so well in business and now with this new opportunity with school. You should be so proud of yourself. However, it's been hard for you to celebrate yourself. For the rest of your life you could never hear the words "Im proud of you" from another person, but you should be SO SO proud of who you are. You've come extremely far. No, things aren't perfect and you're not 100% where you want to be, but baby girl look how far you've come. You're not the same person you were a year ago, two years ago, 5 years ago. You are a strong, self aware, intelligent young woman who is going to do some really great things in life.Don't be ashamed of the tears, they just mean you're working through one more thing to make yourself even better. You are talented. People say it all the time. They buy your products and even trust you with their visions. I know deep down you're still insecure about if you're actually good enough to call yourself an artist. This has literally been your dream since you were 5 but you didn't think you deserved to have it. Here you are. Checking things off and tackling things some people could never handle. There's no perfect way to become a better version of yourself, but you're doing it. You worry if another person will love you well, even if you deserve to be loved again. Allow people to love you, allow people to compliment you, allow people to think you're great because you are. You are exactly where you should be. Walk into your first day of art school with your head up ready to kick butt because you will! Every order you get, be excited about it. You are going to give that client the best product/service ever because thats the brand and company that you have created. You are qualified to have everything that you do. No one can take that from you. So on those days where you're struggling to feel pretty enough, talented enough, creative enough, strong enough, or qualified enough remember that you can find your identity in Jesus. He calls you creative, he calls you beautiful, he calls you strong. That's a promise. There's nothing you or anyone else can do to take that away. You don't need anyone else to validate or approve of you because the Lord does, and that is good enough. You're going to blow your own mind with the things you accomplish. Be excited, be encouraged, and know that everything the Lord has for you, you WILL receive. He's got you, when no one else does, He's got you.